Ellie's Musical

Ellie was in the eighth grade musical.  They performed Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.  Ellie played the part of the narrator, which was the mother reading the story to her two children.  She also played a ribbon peddler, who tried to do away with Snow White.

It was so much fun to watch her.  She was SO good, especially as the mother.  I laughed my head off at her exasperation and frustration with her two quarreling children.  I could just see myself with Mac and Josh.  It reminded me so much of myself, watching her on stage.  She was so funny.

She looked absolutely beautiful up there.  She's such an extraordinarily pretty girl.  So good.  So smart.  She is just such a peach.

Josh

This morning I was gone when the kids got ready for school.  I was at the nursing home working with the CNAs trying to figure out how to supervise my students when they come for clinical.  I had to leave at 5:45 this morning and I was gone all day until 2:00 this afternoon.

When I got home, Craig said that in the morning, Josh had thrown a fit about going to school, that he didn't want to go.  Craig finally told him in exasperation that he was going to school with Brigham in the car and that when he got to school, he could stay in the car all day long if he didn't want to go in.

Right after that, Brigham and the rest of the kids got home from school and Brigham told me the story about what had happened.  Brigham said that when he got to school with Josh, that Josh refused to go in and said that his dad had told him he was allowed to stay in the car.  Brigham parked his car in the student parking lot and went in, leaving Josh in the car.

And that's where Josh stayed.  All day long.  Josh said that he took a nap for a while and got bored. Brigham came out to check on him at lunchtime and found him still there.  He brought him into school with him and fed him lunch and then took him to his physics class and choir.

So now Brigham's teachers - my colleagues - think that I send my six year old son to school with
Brigham to babysit.

Aaaargh.  This was a failure on so many levels.  I am appalled.  He could have wandered off and got lost or run over, the car could have heated up and killed him, he could have started walking down the highway...........the terrible possibilities are endless.

I usually trust that everything will be okay when I am gone, but then something like this happens and I realized that I should never go anywhere.  Ever.

Rae

In a previous post I posted a prayer I had for my dad.  I wanted to say some things about Rae, my "other mother".

I and all my sisters bless the day that Rae came into my dad's life.  She has been such a blessing to him and to us.  She takes such good care of him.  I try to think what life would be like without her, what Dad's life would be like, and it's not a pretty picture.  He would have been alone all these years, nobody to help him, nobody to talk to, nobody to share his life with.

I have learned so many things from her.  Because of Rae I know how to make bread, biscuits, and pie.  She inspires me to keep my home cleaner and provide good food for my family.  She's also been such a good example of loving family members, of welcoming them and including them.  Whenever I call and ask if we can come visit, she's always make me feel like it would be a pleasure for her and dad to have us, even though I know it's more work for her.

I've never liked the word 'stepmother', I think it has negative connotations and that it doesn't accurately describe my relationship with Rae.  She is a lovely lady.  She is kind and good.  I will bless her name forever.

Brigham's Haircut

Old Brigham

New Brigham

Brigham cut his hair!!!!

He hasn't gotten a haircut for over a year.  He had it trimmed for the musical last spring but only a little bit.  Mostly it's been growing for a year.  It was getting seriously long.  It started bothering me when I couldn't see his eyes anymore.  I tried really hard not to mind his long hair.  Craig says that it's important for a young man to assert his independence, and that includes choosing how to wear his hair and what music he likes to listen to.  So because I believe in agency, I let him grow it out.  I figured if he needed to be different, or rebel, or whatever, perhaps long hair was better than some other options.  Brigham said it was never about wanting to rebel but just because he liked to run his fingers through it and feel it against his neck.  He said it was getting ridiculous though, that he couldn't keep it out of his eyes.

Well whatever the reason, it is gone!  Yesterday he disappeared for a couple hours and then got home with short hair.  I had no idea that he had made an appointment on his own to get it cut.  He came in the house and said something to me but I didn't see him because I was facing my laptop at the computer desk.  Then I heard Ellie gasp, "What did you DO?"  I turned around and saw him with short hair and started yelling, "What?!  What!?  You cut your HAIR??????!!!!"

He said it was quite a reaction.  And that the kids at school today all had something to say about it.  

Family Home Evening Bike Ride

Ever since Mac and Josh learned how to ride a bike this summer, Mac has been begging me to go on a bike ride for Family Home Evening.  I keep putting him off, but I thought that if we are going to do it before winter sets in, it better be soon.  So last night we had our family bike ride.

I was nervous that Mac expected to go hither and yon all over the countryside, but I managed to convince him that a ride down the road to the hot springs and back would be plenty of adventure.

After pumping up a couple of flat tires, we were on our way.  Hayes wasn't with us, of course, and Brigham also refused to come.  He got his wisdom teeth out last Friday, and he's been saying that he can't possibly do anything that requires effort - no church, no school, no family bike ride.  So it was Craig and me and Ellie and Mac and Josh.

We rode down the street and then turned around at the hot springs and made it back.  On the way back, Josh started complaining that his hands were cold.  Mine were too - it was really chilly!  I had to coax him to keep pedaling.  

Finally we all made it home and had Oreos for the treat.

A Prayer For My Dad

Father in Heaven, I thank thee for my dad.

He has been a good dad to me.  He taught me about thee, about thy gospel and about thy Son.  He taught me about thy commandments.  I remember being little and sitting through Family Home Evening when he taught me and my sisters and Richard about how taking the sacrament was like getting baptized again.  I hadn't understood that before, and the next week when I partook of the sacrament I tried for the first time to be reverent and think of the Savior.  I remember feeling the spirit that day.

I am grateful for all the hard work he did for me and my sisters and my mom.  Never were we in need.  Never did we worry about having enough money.  I had roommates in college that had to balance work and school and worrying about money, but it was all given to me.  I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I appreciate it now.  My nursing career has brought me so many opportunities in my life.  I wouldn't have it if not for Dad.

I am so grateful for his love.  He always tells me that he is proud of me.  He gets choked up when he tells me.  I am grateful for that love, and that he is pleased with my life.  I always wanted to make him proud of me.

I know he has sorrows in his life.  I know that things he has done in the past concern him.  Please comfort him.  Please help him to feel that his life is valuable to so many people.

He has poor health.  I worry about him.  I don't want him to be uncomfortable.  I don't want him to be weak and dependent.  He never wants people to worry about him, to feel like he has to be taken care of.  He always wants to be the one taking care of people.  He always took care of me.

Please bless him.  Please help him to feel of my love.  Please help him to feel of the love all of us have for him, his daughters, his son, his grandchildren.  He has blessed so many of us.  Please bless him.  I pray that Richard might be with him, might comfort him, and that Dad might feel of Richard's love and concern.  I know he has missed Richard so much.  I don't know why Dad had to lose his only son.  It's been hard for him.

I thank thee for him.  I thank thee for the 42 years I have had him as my dad.  I thank thee that he will always be my dad, even after he leaves this life.  I'm grateful to be sealed as part of an eternal family, that that relationship will continue.

Please bless him.

I pray for this in the name of my Savior, of his Savior, Jesus Christ,

Amen.

Busy Life

Busy, busy, busy in a tizzy.

It was General Conference this past weekend.  That was nice.  Ellie and I watched all the sessions.  Brigham and Craig watched on Sunday and part of Saturday.  The little boys watched once in a while, in between running in and out through the room.  Ellie fell asleep during the Saturday afternoon session and then talked about how guilty she felt about it.  She says she's going to watch that session again to make up for her sleeping.  Silly girl.  She always tries to do everything right.

On Sunday between sessions we went over to Moms house with the Tolmans and Mom made everyone dinner.  I like that tradition.

Now I'm back to school.  I just finished teaching my two classes.  My masters program officially started yesterday so I'll be starting to work on that.

And I feel like I haven't been devoting enough time to my calling.  We are having a leaders meeting tomorrow so hopefully we can get some activities planned.

Life is busy!

Sick

Aaargh, everyone is sick.  Everyone but me.  And I feel like it's only a matter of time.  Ellie was the first one to get it.  Snuffly nose, congestion, fever, tired.  She handled it with her characteristic fortitude, pressing on.  She took care of herself.  Craig and I both thought she was too sick to go to church a week ago and we practically had to force her to stay home.

Then Brigham got sick.  He is a little less robust.  He's been dragging around the house for several days now, moaning that he is dying.  He said there was no way he could go to church yesterday, that he was dying.  He did get up and go to school this morning, wearing his sweatpants and poncho.  He says his greeting to everyone today is going to be, "I'm sick.  Go away."

Please please please don't let me get sick.  I'm so busy this week, it's crazy.  School, two meetings for my degree program, visiting teaching, Ellie's cross country meet, Brigham's yearly meeting with the school counselor, ward party....... this week is crazy.  Please don't let me get sick.  

Football Game

Yesterday was our school's homecoming football game.  Brigham's choir was singing the national anthem at the beginning of the game so we went to watch him sing.  Mac begged to stay and watch the game so we stayed the first period.  Mac was asking all the rules of the game.  He says he likes football.  I think we will go to the next game.   It was fun.  And Brigham did a good job singing.

My Statistics Grade

I heard from my statistics professor today.  I got an A on the final and an A in the class!!!!  I am surprised, I spent the whole time during the final thinking how hard it was and how I wasn't going to do very well.

I am so relieved and glad to have that stupid class over!!!!

Brigham's Lunch

Yesterday I found out that Brigham has been skipping meals.  Sometimes (often!) he doesn't make it downstairs to have breakfast with the family because he's sleeping in.  Yesterday he got home from school exhausted.  He said that he though part of the problem might have been that he didn't have breakfast or lunch.

This kid!  He doesn't eat breakfast with the family because he sleeps in.  Then he skips school breakfast because he's busy socializing.  Then at lunch time, he doesn't make it to the lunchroom in time to get lunch because he's doing whatever.  He likes to roam the halls with his ukelele, or else use the time to make up some schoolwork.

He always thinks that whenever he gets there is fine  He really doesn't believe in keeping to other peoples schedules.  He's kept a box of microwave popcorn to eat in case he misses lunch but he ran out.  And I don't want him eating microwave popcorn all the time.

We talked about it yesterday and I went to the grocery store and got him some things to keep in his locker, as well as some microwave meals to keep in the teachers lounge freezer.  I hope that helps.

What a kid.  

Pirate Escape Room

I have a bunch of assignments to grade but I'll just post this really fast.

Last week our family went to an escape room in Logan for Family Home Evening.  An escape room is this room where they shut you in and give you some clues that you have to follow to solve puzzles.  When you solve a puzzle or question, it gives you a code to unlock something that gives you another clue.  Eventually you get the code to unlock the door to find the treasure.

We had a lot of fun.  I got a little tense and starting barking orders at everyone, which Ellie didn't appreciate.  I had to calm down.

We didn't do very well with the clues, but eventually we were able to unlock the treasure chest.

YAY FOR ME

I finished my statistics course!!!!!  Yesterday I took the final, which was super hard.  I don't know what I got on it.  They have to scan it and email it to my instructor and she has to grade it and then email me the grade.  Which is because there is absolutely no better way to do this.  Oh wait, there IS. Anyway, I don't know what I got yet.  I had calculated that I had to get a 75% in order to maintain my A in the class.  It's funny, I remember Reese being here this summer and taking an online class and he was trying to calculate what he had to get on the final in order to get an A in the class and I was chastising him that he should do his best always.  Here I am doing the same thing.

I am SO GLAD to have that wretched class over with.  And now I have a whole two weeks to relax and watch Netflix before my degree program starts!!

And here is my new school picture.

Ellie's Cross Country Meet

On Wednesday, Ellie had a cross country meet.  Our family has not really been into sports that much, especially high school organized sports.  Ellie has been an exception.  Last year she begged me to do cross country and I let her, somewhat doubtfully.  I thought she would give up and quit when it got hard.

But she hasn't!  She goes to All the practices.  She tries really hard to get better.

This week I went to see her run.  The meet was held at home, at Westside.  It was so fun to see her.  I was so proud.  She tries so hard.  She came in 11th of all the schools that were participating.  She was disappointed that she didn't get a medal, but I wasn't disappointed.  I was so proud of her.

And here is also a picture of Brigham serenading the runners with his ukulele.

Josh was a Cloud

Last Saturday we went to see Josh in a play.

On the first day of school, Josh brought home a flyer saying that the school was putting on a play with a traveling children company.  The children would try out on Tuesday, rehearse on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and then perform on Saturday.

Josh was SO excited.  He talked about it every single day.  "When is the day I try out for my play?"  I had no idea that we had a budding thespian here.  I guess he's seen Brigham and Ellie in plays and wanted to do it himself.

They play was based on Peter Pan.  Josh and the other kindergarteners played the parts of clouds.  They were SO stinking cute!!!

If Its Not One Thing, It's Another

Okay, the good news is that Hayes is doing well and I am feeling better about that.  He says his goal for this semester is to get to bed by 10:30 and up early in the morning.  He says that he has been able to do that so far.  He says he's the first one to go to bed at night in his apartment and the first one up in the morning.  He says it's a different experience, being up in the morning before everybody else.  This is a side of Hayes we've never seen before!  He seems to be doing well and feeling good about his classes.

But if it's not one thing, it's another.  Brigham has really been worrying me for a couple days.  He's been on this new medication, Adderall, along with Hayes.  He's been on it for two months and it seems to be working good for him.  Since school started, though, he's been having trouble.  It only lasts eight hours and so it wears off about the time it's time for him to start his homework.  The past couple days he gets home from school, starts his homework, does it for 30 minutes, goes to move pipe.  When he gets home from moving pipe it's completely worn off and he kind of crashes and finds it VERY difficult to get his homework done.  He says it feels impossible.

The past couple days he's been very emotional and tearful, which is not like him.  He says he just wants to be like everybody else and be able to keep up and do well in school.  He says he hates the way he feels when he comes down from his pill.

He didn't take his pill yesterday and basically slept most of the day, didn't go to school.   He was very lethargic and wouldn't talk to us.  By evening I was pretty frantic.  I made an appointment for him at his doctor tomorrow.

This morning he woke up and seemed a bit better.  He got dressed and went to school.

Aaaaargh, mothering is too hard.  I don't know what to do to help my son.  I'm worried about  him.

Hayes's New Semester

I am a WRECK.  Yesterday I took Hayes back to Provo for his new semester.  He is excited.  He says that he's going to do better this semester.  I helped him check into his new apartment.  His roommate Jace was there already.  Hayes and Jace lived together last year in the dorms and he is a nice boy.  I'm so glad that he was there because if I had to leave Hayes there with a bunch of roommates that he didn't know, I would be an even bigger wreck.

We got his bike and all his clothes and things out of the van and into his apartment.  This apartment is  small and dingy and dark and it's already messy. And there was gaming equipment all around the TV with games like Call of Duty - I HATE Call of Duty and I told Hayes and Jace they weren't allowed to play it and they said they knew.  And there was a life size cardboard cut out of Bobba Fett.

I just hated to leave him.  He doesn't know how to take care of himself!  I've tried and tried to teach him to be responsible but he hasn't learned!  He's going to starve!

As I drove back home I realized that I should have at least taken him grocery shopping before I left!  He doesn't even have any food!

I cried and cried all the way home.

After I got home and the family was eating dinner, I called Hayes to see if he was okay.  He said he was at the grocery store, that he had biked there, and that all he had to pay with was a check because he had lost his debit card and the bank hadn't sent him a new one yet and the store wasn't accepting his check.  I panicked and asked him what he was going to do and he said he didn't know yet but that he would figure it out.

So all night long I was anxious.

This morning he said that he biked back to his apartment to get his ID to show them and came back and they still said there was something wrong with the check.  So he biked back to his apartment again to get another check.  And brought it back and they said they still couldn't take it.  So he biked back a third time and brought yet another check (why in the world couldn't he take the whole checkbook?!) and brought it to the store and they accepted it.  So he finally got to bring home his groceries.  He said the ladies in the customer service department were really nice and sympathetic and he told him everything that had gone wrong in his whole life and they gave him lots of sympathy.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

This time around has been TERRIBLE.  I don't know why.  I don't remember having this hard a time last time I took him to BYU.  I just worry that things are going to go badly and he's not going to eat and he's going to run out of money.

Here are some pictures of his horrible apartment.

Statistics, Ugh.

The good news for the day is that I am doing great in my statistics class!  The masters programs I have looked at say that they want me to take a refresher course in statistics before I start the program, since the course I took in college was twenty years ago.  (That, plus the fact that I remember nothing about it!)

I started taking an online class from the University of Idaho about a month ago and it has kicked my butt!!!  It is so hard!  I have had to try so hard!  The first quiz I did alright in but the second quiz I got a 72%.  I freaked out because I'm used to doing well in school.  I started trying really really hard and now I'm three quarters done with the class and I'm getting a 93%!!!!

I remember when Reese was living with us and taking an online class, I think it was history.  And he was saying that he had calculated his grade and figured that he had done so well in the class so far that he only had to get a 75% on the final in order to get an A in the class.  And at the time I told him that that was a bad way of thinking, that he should try to do his best always and not blow things off.

Now I find myself thinking the exact same way.  I'm trying to do really well in this class so that I can relax towards the end and not try so hard.  The exams have to be proctored so I take them at the public library here in Preston.  Today after teaching I go take my third exam.  Only one left!!

In other news, Craig had someone weld an extension on the tractor fork so that he could lift three bales of hay and not have one fall off onto the hood of his tractor.  😃

The Curse

Okay I don't know what is going on with this here farm, but something sure is.  Something bad.

This morning Craig came in from doing chores and said that he had been moving hay bales with the big blue tractor and one hay bale had rolled off the stack and landed on the top of the tractor cab.  And smashed it.  With Craig inside.  He's okay but the top of the cab is broken.

Then this afternoon, our employee Shawn was moving hay with the backhoe and the exact same thing happened.  Except it dented the hood of the engine.

I just don't know what is going to happen next.  I don't think I want to know.  

Yesterday

So this is what happened yesterday.

I was outside with the little boys and Hayes was hauling large hay bales with the big blue tractor.  As he was pulling out of the field onto the road, he didn't see our neighbor, Goldie Bosen, approaching in her car.  At the last minute, he saw her and quickly pulled back but the hay bales fell off the tractor fork and smashed into her car.  They broke out her back window and tore the window frame off the car.

She was super nice about it and didn't even get mad.  She said that she's raised three boys of her own and she knows how it is.  Hayes was really shook up and talked about how if he had been just a few seconds faster he could have killed her.

Then, in the afternoon, Craig called me and said that he was up on the caboose field and that the combine was on fire and he needed me to direct the fire department to the field because he didn't think they knew the road to take.  Brigham and I ran to the van and drove up there, meeting the fire trucks at the road turn off.  We could see the smoke billowing from the field.  The fire engine couldn't negotiate the skinny canal road so we waited for the brush trucks to get there.  By the time Brigham and I made it up to the combine, most of the blaze had been put out.  The combine looked like a charred wreck.

Craig said that our employee Shawn had been cutting hay and the combine engine had started on fire and he was unable to put it out and pretty soon the whole combine was ablaze.  It's a pretty old combine.  We bought it ten years ago and it was already maybe thirty years old when we bought it.

Luckily, the grain field didn't catch on fire.  That's something good.  But the combine was a total loss - and it wasn't insured, due to being so old.  So we don't even get any money out of it.

We got home and were sitting exhausted on the grass, when our employee came running out of the barn, yelling that a cow had fallen down on the rotary and couldn't get up.  Craig went in and had to pull the cow out with the tractor.

Sigh.  Some days are bad.  And some days are REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad.

First day of school

First day of school!!!  The LAST first day of school for Brigham.  They are all excited.  Brigham decided he wanted to go out with a bang, so to speak.  He rented a tux for his first day of school.  Don't look at me, I had nothing to do with it.  The ideas that kid gets into his head......

I started my classes two days ago.  Last year I had 9 kids total, 3 in one class and 6 in the other.  This year I've got 19 kids, more than double last year.  I've got 10 kids in my first class and 9 kids in my other.  Things are going well so far.  They seem like a good group of kids.  They're all girls this year.  And Harley Carlisle from next door is in my class.  I hope it's another good year.  I'm a little nervous about keeping control of such a large group.

Jim Michauds visit

This weekend we've had the Jim Michaud family visiting.  They wanted to see the solar eclipse in Idaho Falls and everything was booked so they asked to stay with us.  They arrived Saturday night and stayed for two nights.  It was so nice to have them and good to get to know Tori's husband Tyler.  They came to church with us on Sunday and then we had dinner together.  Sunday evening, Heather and her family came over and had dinner and we all visited.

It was a good weekend.  I am so grateful for good family.

Rappelling

Craig and Hayes have in their heads a crazy wild idea to take the whole family rappelling in southern Utah before school starts.  Rappeling is when you are wearing a harness and you attach the harness to a rope and lower yourself down.

They have a trip planned next week.  Here are pictures of all of us learning to rappel off the haystack.  Mac and Josh weren't sure of it the first couple times, but then they really got the hang of it.

Then Hayes said it was time to start doing it for real, off a cliff up Logan Canyon.  Here are the pictures.

This is Josh rappelling by himself.  

Hayes, our fearless leader

Ellie

Hayes and Mac.

I'm not completely sure about this.  Seeing my babies up there, surrounded by nothing but air, gives me a sick feeling.  Babies belong on the ground.  Even knowing that they are tethered to something doesn't make me feel much better.