Josh

This morning I was gone when the kids got ready for school.  I was at the nursing home working with the CNAs trying to figure out how to supervise my students when they come for clinical.  I had to leave at 5:45 this morning and I was gone all day until 2:00 this afternoon.

When I got home, Craig said that in the morning, Josh had thrown a fit about going to school, that he didn't want to go.  Craig finally told him in exasperation that he was going to school with Brigham in the car and that when he got to school, he could stay in the car all day long if he didn't want to go in.

Right after that, Brigham and the rest of the kids got home from school and Brigham told me the story about what had happened.  Brigham said that when he got to school with Josh, that Josh refused to go in and said that his dad had told him he was allowed to stay in the car.  Brigham parked his car in the student parking lot and went in, leaving Josh in the car.

And that's where Josh stayed.  All day long.  Josh said that he took a nap for a while and got bored. Brigham came out to check on him at lunchtime and found him still there.  He brought him into school with him and fed him lunch and then took him to his physics class and choir.

So now Brigham's teachers - my colleagues - think that I send my six year old son to school with
Brigham to babysit.

Aaaargh.  This was a failure on so many levels.  I am appalled.  He could have wandered off and got lost or run over, the car could have heated up and killed him, he could have started walking down the highway...........the terrible possibilities are endless.

I usually trust that everything will be okay when I am gone, but then something like this happens and I realized that I should never go anywhere.  Ever.

Rae

In a previous post I posted a prayer I had for my dad.  I wanted to say some things about Rae, my "other mother".

I and all my sisters bless the day that Rae came into my dad's life.  She has been such a blessing to him and to us.  She takes such good care of him.  I try to think what life would be like without her, what Dad's life would be like, and it's not a pretty picture.  He would have been alone all these years, nobody to help him, nobody to talk to, nobody to share his life with.

I have learned so many things from her.  Because of Rae I know how to make bread, biscuits, and pie.  She inspires me to keep my home cleaner and provide good food for my family.  She's also been such a good example of loving family members, of welcoming them and including them.  Whenever I call and ask if we can come visit, she's always make me feel like it would be a pleasure for her and dad to have us, even though I know it's more work for her.

I've never liked the word 'stepmother', I think it has negative connotations and that it doesn't accurately describe my relationship with Rae.  She is a lovely lady.  She is kind and good.  I will bless her name forever.

Brigham's Haircut

Old Brigham

New Brigham

Brigham cut his hair!!!!

He hasn't gotten a haircut for over a year.  He had it trimmed for the musical last spring but only a little bit.  Mostly it's been growing for a year.  It was getting seriously long.  It started bothering me when I couldn't see his eyes anymore.  I tried really hard not to mind his long hair.  Craig says that it's important for a young man to assert his independence, and that includes choosing how to wear his hair and what music he likes to listen to.  So because I believe in agency, I let him grow it out.  I figured if he needed to be different, or rebel, or whatever, perhaps long hair was better than some other options.  Brigham said it was never about wanting to rebel but just because he liked to run his fingers through it and feel it against his neck.  He said it was getting ridiculous though, that he couldn't keep it out of his eyes.

Well whatever the reason, it is gone!  Yesterday he disappeared for a couple hours and then got home with short hair.  I had no idea that he had made an appointment on his own to get it cut.  He came in the house and said something to me but I didn't see him because I was facing my laptop at the computer desk.  Then I heard Ellie gasp, "What did you DO?"  I turned around and saw him with short hair and started yelling, "What?!  What!?  You cut your HAIR??????!!!!"

He said it was quite a reaction.  And that the kids at school today all had something to say about it.  

Family Home Evening Bike Ride

Ever since Mac and Josh learned how to ride a bike this summer, Mac has been begging me to go on a bike ride for Family Home Evening.  I keep putting him off, but I thought that if we are going to do it before winter sets in, it better be soon.  So last night we had our family bike ride.

I was nervous that Mac expected to go hither and yon all over the countryside, but I managed to convince him that a ride down the road to the hot springs and back would be plenty of adventure.

After pumping up a couple of flat tires, we were on our way.  Hayes wasn't with us, of course, and Brigham also refused to come.  He got his wisdom teeth out last Friday, and he's been saying that he can't possibly do anything that requires effort - no church, no school, no family bike ride.  So it was Craig and me and Ellie and Mac and Josh.

We rode down the street and then turned around at the hot springs and made it back.  On the way back, Josh started complaining that his hands were cold.  Mine were too - it was really chilly!  I had to coax him to keep pedaling.  

Finally we all made it home and had Oreos for the treat.

A Prayer For My Dad

Father in Heaven, I thank thee for my dad.

He has been a good dad to me.  He taught me about thee, about thy gospel and about thy Son.  He taught me about thy commandments.  I remember being little and sitting through Family Home Evening when he taught me and my sisters and Richard about how taking the sacrament was like getting baptized again.  I hadn't understood that before, and the next week when I partook of the sacrament I tried for the first time to be reverent and think of the Savior.  I remember feeling the spirit that day.

I am grateful for all the hard work he did for me and my sisters and my mom.  Never were we in need.  Never did we worry about having enough money.  I had roommates in college that had to balance work and school and worrying about money, but it was all given to me.  I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I appreciate it now.  My nursing career has brought me so many opportunities in my life.  I wouldn't have it if not for Dad.

I am so grateful for his love.  He always tells me that he is proud of me.  He gets choked up when he tells me.  I am grateful for that love, and that he is pleased with my life.  I always wanted to make him proud of me.

I know he has sorrows in his life.  I know that things he has done in the past concern him.  Please comfort him.  Please help him to feel that his life is valuable to so many people.

He has poor health.  I worry about him.  I don't want him to be uncomfortable.  I don't want him to be weak and dependent.  He never wants people to worry about him, to feel like he has to be taken care of.  He always wants to be the one taking care of people.  He always took care of me.

Please bless him.  Please help him to feel of my love.  Please help him to feel of the love all of us have for him, his daughters, his son, his grandchildren.  He has blessed so many of us.  Please bless him.  I pray that Richard might be with him, might comfort him, and that Dad might feel of Richard's love and concern.  I know he has missed Richard so much.  I don't know why Dad had to lose his only son.  It's been hard for him.

I thank thee for him.  I thank thee for the 42 years I have had him as my dad.  I thank thee that he will always be my dad, even after he leaves this life.  I'm grateful to be sealed as part of an eternal family, that that relationship will continue.

Please bless him.

I pray for this in the name of my Savior, of his Savior, Jesus Christ,

Amen.

Busy Life

Busy, busy, busy in a tizzy.

It was General Conference this past weekend.  That was nice.  Ellie and I watched all the sessions.  Brigham and Craig watched on Sunday and part of Saturday.  The little boys watched once in a while, in between running in and out through the room.  Ellie fell asleep during the Saturday afternoon session and then talked about how guilty she felt about it.  She says she's going to watch that session again to make up for her sleeping.  Silly girl.  She always tries to do everything right.

On Sunday between sessions we went over to Moms house with the Tolmans and Mom made everyone dinner.  I like that tradition.

Now I'm back to school.  I just finished teaching my two classes.  My masters program officially started yesterday so I'll be starting to work on that.

And I feel like I haven't been devoting enough time to my calling.  We are having a leaders meeting tomorrow so hopefully we can get some activities planned.

Life is busy!