Craig

Hallelujah, Craig is sleeping better!  Two weeks ago we got his back injected and this time it seems to be helping.  We had done it three times before with no success.  We started seeing a new doctor and asked him to try it, thinking that maybe he would have a different technique or something.

So he still has pain and still has to wear his brace and take his meds, but he is definitely sleeping better at night!  Up until two weeks ago, he couldn't sleep longer than a couple hours.  Then he would have to get up and walk around.  I would find him in the morning on the couch, on the floor, in another bed...  It was terrible.  He was exhausted.

I am so grateful.  I think that if he can sleep and if he can exercise, maybe there is some hope that we can get this thing healed.

A really good day on the barn

Okay I'm going to write out this whole day so we can remember it.  So bear with me.

On Monday Craig was absolutely beside himself.  Relationships with our equipment dealer have been going bad for months.  This isn't the supplier from New Zealand; everything is great with him.  It's the local dealer who is supposed to receive shipment of equipment and install it from us.  It has become apparent to Craig over the past year that they have no clue what they are doing and are generally dishonest.  Last summer he told them to leave and not come back.  We've been trying to establish a new relationship with a new dealer but it's been very problematic because these old dealers, Mountain West Dairy Service, say that we owe them money still and they are keeping the rest of the equipment until they got the money.

Craig has been trying to work it out.  We've sought help from our attorney and also his dad Evan and brother Josh have been helping us.  On Monday, he got some emails from Waikato in New Zealand and also from Mountain West.  It was looking like things were close to working out so we could get our equipment delivered.

But Craig had had it.  He said that he absolutely couldn't deal with it anymore.  The way he was talking, I was truly worried about him.  At Evan's encouragement, I decided to step in at that point.  I got on the phone with Mountain West and sent some emails.  I reviewed the settlement and signed it and faxed it.  I arranged for a delivery time for the equipment.  And I prayed.  I prayed a whole lot.  Evan and Joshua were a big help to me, helping to review the settlement agreement and coaching me.  They said they would come yesterday and be there when Mountain West came.

Yesterday Mountain West was supposed to deliver the equipment.  The two guys from New Zealand are here to install the equipment and without the delivery from Mountain West, they might as well have packed up and gone home.

I sent Craig away.  I didn't want him anywhere near the farm when the two guys from Mountain West showed up.  I made him an appointment for a massage and adjustment at the chiropractor and told him to not come home until he got the okay from me.

Mountain West was supposed to be here at 2:00.  Evan and Joshua showed up at 1:30 to give support and make sure that everything was okay to hand over the money.  Cohen and Brett from New Zealand were ready to inventory the equipment and make sure it was all there.  I was so jumpy and nervous, praying that everything would work out.  I was so grateful Evan and Joshua were there with me.

At 3:00 nobody had came yet.  3:30, nothing.  I texted the secretary from Mountain West to ask where everybody was and he said they were running late.  At 4:00, nothing.  4:30, the Mountain West secretary said it was going to be closer to 5:30.  By this time, I was getting distraught.  Were they going to come at all?  Craig was texting, "Is it okay to come home?"

At 5:00 I was out in the barn with Evan, watching the rain outside.  Dad called.  I was surprised to see his name on my phone, surprised that he would choose that exact moment to call.  I decided it was a sign that everything was going to be okay.  I talked to him and he helped calm me down.

At 5:35 Mountain West pulled in the driveway.  I went out to greet them and make sure Joshua didn't bite their heads off.  Pat from Mountain West was cordial and jolly, like he always is, and Craig Johansen was silent.  They pulled up to the barn and started unloading boxes, passing them through the bay to Joshua and Evan and Cohen.  The boxes started piling up and Cohen went through them.  He was happy and said that he thought everything was there that he had been looking for.  Josh talked to Craig Johansen and Pat a minute and then told me he thought it was okay to make the payment.  I went in the house and wrote the $44,611.18 check and brought it out to them.  After a few pleasantries, they drove away.

I was so relieved!  I called Craig and gave him the go ahead to come home.  I talked to Evan and Josh and minute and then they left.  I was so glad and relieved!

Last night and this morning, Craig has seemed so excited and happy.  He's been working on this , on terminating the relationship with Mountain West and getting the remaining equipment, since July.  He says that things can really move forward now and he thinks there's a chance we could be milking in the new barn in two weeks.

We both feel like there was divine intervention and help yesterday and I am so grateful.

Fairy Gardens

Grandma Marion took the grandkids to a garden place in Logan and had them all make fairy gardens.  Fairy gardens are little pots with plants and miniature stuff in them.  Fairies, gnomes, little houses, bridges, wishing wells...you get the idea.

It was SO much fun.  The kids were in heaven.  I tried to talk to Mac and Josh and give them a lesson about aesthetic appeal, but it was lost on them.  They thought the whole point was to cram as many miniatures as could fit in their pot.  They didn't have any plants.

It was a good time.  We're going to have to go back next year and do it again.

My classroom door

This is the door to my classroom at Westside.  You have to disregard the crappy looking walls, they are tearing down the carpetty stuff and replacing it.  

I've been teaching for almost a year now.  I like it.  I like the kids.  I like the other teachers.  

I don't like everything.  I don't like having to take a bunch of classes from ISU to become certified.  I don't like going to a bunch of pointless meetings.  

But I do really like the kids.  And I think I'm mostly good at teaching.  

My school picture

This is my first school picture since 1993.  Mrs. Campbell, CNA Instructor.

Palm Sunday

Happy Palm Sunday.

Craig was released from the bishopric.  They have served five years together.  They were a really good bishopric and I have been grateful for his opportunity to serve.  I can't lie, though, I am going to be really glad to have him sit with us in sacrament meeting.  Josh was just a baby when his dad was called to the bishopric.  He's never known his dad to sit with us.  I think I'll turn over all the sacrament meeting child care to Craig for a couple months.  

The new bishop called was Lance Henderson, the other counselor in the old bishopric.  He chose Aaron Beutler as his first counselor - Aaron is the husband of my friend Aneesa and they have SEVEN sons, all of whom she is going to have to manage herself during sacrament meeting now.  Joseph Grimm, another younger brother in the ward, was called as his second counselor.  They are all good brethren and will be a good bishopric.  

The stake presidency conducted the meeting and Craig and I were both asked to bear our testimonies.  When it was Craig's turn, he got up and lowered the microphone and raised his hand in the air and shouted "Hosanna!!"  in deference to it being Palm Sunday.

After church we went to Marion and Evans for dinner and they were set apart as missionaries.  They are going to be serving as church service missionaries in the Cinnamon Creek campground.  That's a campground up the canyon from Paradise and Avon that the church uses for young womens camps.  Evan is excited and Marion is nervous.  They will do great.

Ogden Childrens Museum

Last week was spring break.  I was kicking around the idea of taking a trip - maybe going down to Mesa - but we have so many trips coming up this summer that we decided it would be best to stay home this time.  We decided to have a "staycation" at home.  Every day we would do something fun.  

Josh would wake up in the morning, rub his bleary eyes, and ask, "What fun thing are we doing today?"   

One day we drove down to Odgen with my friend Aneesa Beutler and her seven sons.  Brigham wasn't able to come with us because he was helping his dad install equipment in the barn.  We went to the childrens museum and then out to lunch at a Mexican restaurant.

These aren't the greatest pictures.  I couldn't get them to pose because they were running around the whole time and didn't want to stop to take a picture.  Everybody had a great time.

King's College Choir from Cambridge, England

Last week Craig, Brigham, Ellie, and I drove down to the Catholic church in Logan for a concert.  The Choir of King's College from Cambridge, England was doing a tour in the US and Craig Jessop, the dean of USU's music college, convinced them to come to Logan to do a concert.

The choir is composed of boys from ages 8 to 20.  Their voices were GORGEOUS.  They just struck me to the heart.  They sang a lot of religious songs, texts from the Old and New Testament.  

I had never been in the Catholic church before and it was really beautiful.  High arched ceilings.  The sound just echoed and echoed.  

Gorgeous.  It was gorgeous.

The Farm

Dad, this post is just for you.  Will you please call me when you have read it and want to talk?

This year has been SO HARD.  Craig’s back pain has been unrelenting.  We have tried so many things - steroid injections, physical therapy (2 different physical therapists), chiropractor, exercise, 2 different doctors.  We’ve even tried alternative stuff, foot zoning and essential oils and things like that.  Nothing has really helped.  We have an appointment with the surgeon next month and it’s looking like he is going to have surgery. We have talked to the doctors about whether they feel Craig will ever be able to drive a tractor again. They say that at this point they can't say.

Which is one thing.

Building this barn has been another.  It has taken such a toll.  Right now we are at a standstill with the equipment installation.  The company that we contracted with turned out to be terrible and we are trying to get out of the contract, but they say we owe them more money and we say we don’t.  It’s been terrible.  We are trying to work things out with the help of Craig’s dad and brother and our attorney, but meantime the equipment is not being installed.  There are no other companies who want to get involved at this point.  It feels like there is no way forward and no way back with this barn.  I wish we could go back and build something small and simple, something that lots of people had experience building, instead of this giant expensive thing that nobody knows how to build.  

But we can’t do that.

So here we are.  There’s been other problems, things with the employees and our milk contract.  This winter was very harsh and we lost a lot of cows.  We bought heifers last year and the idea was that the barn would get done and we would fill it up with all our new cows, but right now our herd is smaller than it’s been in years, even with the replacement heifers.  That’s a problem.

All these problems have combined this past year to cause mental anguish.  It’s felt like a catastrophe.

Craig and I have decided to list the farm for sale.

I know that this is a shock.  We’ve been talking about it for a couple months now.  What if we could sell?  What if we could make enough money on it to pay all our debts and live in semi retirement?  What if we could have a different life?

The decision hasn’t come easy.  And we’re not completely set on it, even though we have contacted a realtor and as of yesterday, it is officially for sale.  What we hope is that four months from now, Craig will have had surgery and his back will be completely better.  The barn will FINALLY be finished and will work.  We will buy some more cows and they will be milking.  Things will work out with the milk contract.  Our employees will shape up.

This is what we hope.  We don’t want to leave.  This is our home.  We love it here.  There’s nowhere else we can envision ourselves.  

But we feel like if we list it for sale and see what happens, then it could just be an option.  If we want to go that direction.  We are asking a high enough price on it that I’m not sure it will sell, especially because we’re not very willing to come down much on the price.  There’s no sign in our yard and we aren’t making the news very public.  We haven’t told our employees or ward members.  We aren’t completely sure it’s going to happen and we don’t want to start dealing with all the questions yet.  

Dad, you have given us so much help and support.  We don’t want to cause any feelings on your part, like you wish you hadn’t helped us if we were just going to turn around and sell.  We just want you to be prepared if that is the direction we end up going.  We are so grateful to you and everything you and Rae have done.   

Will you and Rae please consider this and call me when you are ready to talk about it?

We love you.